From Orlando, Florida
Announcers: Jerry Lawler and Michael Cole
We begin tonight with Triple H coming to the ring. Hunter is in awe of the reaction. Hunter catches the fans up and he mentions that Donald Trump bought Raw but he sold it a week later. Hunter also mentions the Celebrity Guest Host. He says that it is his job to introduce tonight’s guest host and he runs through some of Seth Green’s accomplishments. Hunter brings his friend out to the ring
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Seth says that this is amazing and he is excited to be on Raw. Seth says that he is going to do something exciting. He announces a six Diva Swimsuit spectacular. Seth and Hunter talk about the athleticism and Hunter points out that six scantily clad women an example of athleticism.
Hunter talks about how much of a fan he is of Robot Chicken. Hunter talks about the episode on July 26th that happens to feature him. We have a clip. Seth says that Hunter was telling him about fighting whiny little girls since his first match with Randy Orton. Hunter says that he never called Orton a whiny little girl when Orton is a whiny little girl. Hunter says that Orton is just like Dakota Fanning because both lack male genitalia.
Speaking of whiny little girls, Randy Orton makes his way to the ring as only Randy Orton can. Orton says that he has something that Triple H does not and that is the WWE Championship. Orton asks Seth if he wants to take shots at him because Orton says that he is known for anger management issues and he does not care how big or pathetically small they might be.
Hunter suggests a main event of him and Randy Orton. Orton says that Seth doesn’t want to do that because Cena and Hunter are going to lose at Night of Champions so he shouldn’t have to lose tonight. Hunter suggests that he drop Orton right now. Orton says that he has nothing to say to Hunter or Seth Green. Orton wants to know why Seth is here and asks him if he has ever been in a fight. Orton says that Seth is here because someone might mistake him for a real man.
Seth asks Randy if he wants to hear about tonight’s main event. Seth suggests that Randy Orton and Legacy will fight Triple H and John Cena...and Seth Green will complete the six man tag match.
Kelly Kelly is walking in the back as we go to commercial.
Match Number One: Mickie James, Kelly Kelly, and Gail Kim versus Maryse, Alicia Fox, and Rosa Mendes in a Summer Swim Suit Spectacular Match
Alicia and Gail start things off and Gail with a punch and a sunset flip for a near fall. Alicia with a leg sweep and a jackknife cover for a near fall but Gail with a bridge. Alicia with an Irish whip but she runs into an elbow and then Gail with a rana. Alicia with a forearm and Rosa is tagged in. Rosa with a kick and then she tries to send Gail into the turnbuckles but Gail blocks it and hits a clothesline. Kelly is tagged in and she hits the handspring elbow in the corner. Kelly with a choke but Rosa takes Kelly down and gets a near fall. Rosa with kicks to Kelly’s back and then Alicia is tagged back in. Alicia with a snap mare and reverse chin lock. Alicia with an Irish whip but Kelly with a kick and clothesline. Mickie and Maryse tag in and Mickie with a series of flying clotheslines and a flying forearm. Mickie knocks Alicia and Rosa off the apron and then she hits a head scissors on Maryse. Mickie goes up for a Thesz Press but Rosa and Alicia break up the cover. All six are in the ring momentarily until it is back to Maryse and Mickie. Maryse sends Mickie into the ring post and then Maryse with a DDT for the three count.
Winners: Maryse, Alicia Fox, and Rosa Mendes
Seth is in his office and Chris Jericho is in there. Chris is not willing to shake his hand. He says that Seth is someone who is a fan of Star Wars, but he mocks it. Seth says that is not true. Chris says that Seth should have come to him and asked him what his agenda was. Seth says that he wants to give the people what they want. Seth and Chris talk about the Robot Chicken skateboarding tour and Chris says that he is pandering to the fans. Seth says that he is doing something fun and if Chris is going to bring the negativity, maybe Chris should leave. Chris says that he is not going to leave and he is going to say something tonight whether Seth likes it or not. We go to commercial.
We are back with the Slam of the Week: the family feud involving the Colons.
Before our next match, Primo gets on the mic and he starts to speak in Spanish and then he calls out his brother.
Instead of Carlito, it is The Miz. Miz wonders where the other half of the Colons are. He suggests that Carlito has something better to do so the Miz is in. Miz says that since Maryse is watching this, he is going to leave Primo laying in the ring just like the rejected brother that he is.
Match Number Two: Primo versus The Miz
They lock up and Miz with a clean break. Primo with punches to Miz and then he Irish whips Miz and hits a back body drop. Miz with a kick to Primo followed by snake eyes. Miz with a belly-to-back suplex for a near fall. Miz with knees to the back followed by a cravate. Primo with punches and then he hits a side Russian leg sweep followed by a back elbow and a clothesline. Primo continues the attack with a drop kick. Miz with an Irish whip but Primo turns it into a cross body for a near fall.
Carlito’s music plays and he comes to the ring while Primo and Miz continue to wrestle. Primo is distracted by Carlito when he gets on the apron and Miz with a knee to the back and then he hits a full nelson into a stroke for the three count.
Winner: The Miz
After the match, Carlito kicks his brother while he is down. Carlito gets the green apple and he spits it in Primo’s face.
Cole and Lawler talk about the tag team situation because Edge is out with an Achilles Tendon injury. We have photos of the aftermath of the surgery.
We go to commercial.
We are back with WWE Rewind: Chavo versus Hornswoggle from Superstars.
Hornswoggle is grunting in the office and Seth tells Hornswoggle that he is going to wrestle Chavo tonight. Tonight Chavo can wrestle at full size, but he has to wrestle with his arm behind his back.
Hornswoggle leaves and that is because Big Show is in the room. Seth asks Show for advice and Show tells Seth to watch his match with Evan Bourne to see how someone his size fares in the ring. Show says that it will cost him...1 million dollars (Austin Powers line).
Match Number Three: Montel Vontavious Porter versus Jack Swagger
Porter and Swagger get face to face as the match begins and they have some words for each other. Swagger with a waist lock take down into a float over and he slaps Porter in the head to embarrass Porter. Porter slaps Swagger and punches him and Swagger goes to the floor. Swagger yells at Cole while we go to commercial.
We are back and Porter with a forearm to Swagger and then he hits a clothesline as he comes of the ropes. Swagger goes to the floor one more time. Porter goes out after Swagger and he punches Jack and sends him into the ringside barrier before they return to the ring. Swagger tries for a kick but Porter blocks it and he hits a kick of his own. Porter tries for the Playmaker but Swagger gets out of the hold and then he sends Porter into the ring post. Swagger wrings Porter’s arm into the ring post. Swagger with a hammer lock and slam to Porter. Swagger with a second hammer lock and slam as he continues to work on the arm. Porter with punches and forearms followed by an Irish whip and a running clothesline into the corner. Porter with a facebuster and it is time for the Ballin’ Elbow but Porter can only get a two count. Porter sends Swagger to the apron and Swagger drops Porter’s injured arm on the top rope and Swagger returns to the ring and hits the Doctor Bomb for the three count.
Winner: Jack Swagger
Chris Jericho is walking in the back as we go to commercial.
Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler talk about the injury suffered by Edge and we have photos of the surgery.
Chris Jericho comes to the ring and he has something to say. Chris says that for the first time in WWE history the Unified Tag Team Titles are held by one man and it is fitting that it is the greatest wrestler in the world. Jericho compares Edge to Achilles and points out that it was the Achilles tendon that was both of their demises. Jericho says that he shouldn’t have chosen someone as fragile as Edge to be his tag team partner. Edge was the weak link of their team and Jericho says that he should not be punished for Edge’s imperfections. Jericho says that he cannot defend the tag titles by himself against Legacy. Jericho says that some probably want to see him be stripped of the titles or relinquish the titles. He suggests that maybe Seth Green will have a tournament, but Jericho says that he is smarter. Jericho says that he had a clause put in the contract for the title match that if Edge was injured, he could select his own tag team champion. Jericho says that he will choose a tag team partner who is devious and cunning, the exact opposite of Edge. He will be a truthful, honest and just man.
Mark Henry comes out and he has a smile on his face as big as Texas. Chris tells Mark that he is an impressive sight and he is the partner that he has in mind. Mark takes the mic and he tells Chris that they could do unbelievable things. He asks Orlando if they would be a great tag team. Mark says that he did not come out here to become Chris’s partner. Mark smiles while Chris has a startled look on his face. Mark tells Chris that he came out here to be his opponent.
Match Number Four: Mark Henry versus Chris Jericho
Mark with a clothesline and then he tries to remove Chris Jericho from his suit. Henry with a head butt and then he sends Jericho to the floor. Jericho heads up the ramp but then he returns to the ringside area. Jericho eventually returns to the apron but goes back to the floor. Jericho teases getting back in the ring but he goes back to the floor.
The match officially begins with a body block and head butt followed by a biel. Henry with a kick to the ribs. Henry with a punch to the back of the neck followed by a kick. Henry with a shoulder in the corner. Jericho with a forearm to the back but he runs into Henry and Jericho is on the losing end of that collision. Jericho goes up the ramp and then the referee starts his count. The referee makes it to ten and he calls for the bell.
Winner: Mark Henry by count out
We go to commercial.
Match Number Five: Hornswoggle versus Chavo Guerrero with one arm tied behind his back
Hornswoggle kicks Chavo in the rear end and then he gets on his knees to shake Hornswoggle’s hand. Chavo grabs Hornswoggle by the throat but Hornswoggle bites his hand. Hornswoggle with forearms but Chavo pushes him down. Hornswoggle sends Chavo into the turnbuckles and then Hornswoggle with a kick and splash for a near fall. Hornswoggle with a stinkface and then he charges into the corner but gets a boot from Chavo. Chavo grabs Hornswoggle and then he steps on Hornswoggle’s head and he does the Eddie Shimmy. Chavo with a kick and then he tries for a suplex but he cannot get Hornswoggle up because of the arm. Hornswoggle with an inside cradle for the three count.
Winner: Hornswoggle
Orton is talking to Ted DiBiase in the Legacy Locker Room and he talks about Ted slapping his dad. Randy says that he would do the same thing. Ted says that his dad wanted him to be like him and not a member of Legacy. Cody walks in and he does not have the shirt on. He says that his father might be guest host next week and he says that they have a good relationship. Randy reminds Ted and Cody of their roles and he tells them not to do anything to Seth Green because he will take care of Green personally.
We go to commercial.
We are back and Kofi Kingston comes to the announce table to watch the next match. We see footage from last week’s match between Kofi Kingston and Evan Bourne only to have Big Show ruin the festivities.
We see Seth Green watching in his office.
Match Number Six: Evan Bourne versus Big Show
Bourne cannot escape Show and Show sends him into the corner. Bourne with kicks but Show throws Bourne across the ring. Show punches Bourne and then Show with a double underhook as he lifts Bourne off the mat before he tosses him across the ring again. Show stands on Bourne’s chest. Show puts Bourne in the corner and chops him. Show with a biel to Bourne. Bourne with kicks to Show’s leg and Show sends Bourne back to the mat. Show tosses Bourne out of the ring. Show pulls Bourne up from the floor but Bourne drops Show on the top rope. Bourne hits a missile drop kick but Show stays up. Show with a spear and it is time for the Colossal Clutch and Bourne taps.
Winner: Big Show
After the match, Kingston comes into the ring and he kicks Show to get him off Bourne and then he hits a drop kick and Show goes to the floor.
It is time for a look at Robot Chicken coming out on DVD next week.
We go to commercial.
It is time to run through the card for Night of Champions.
We see Santino in Seth’s office playing with some action figures and he asks Seth for a job on his show. John Cena and Triple H enter and Santino decides to leave.
Cena asks Seth if he is ready for his match and Seth says that he is a bit nervous and thinks that he is over his head. Cena gets serious and threatens Seth but then he is only joking. Seth uses his inhaler while Hunter and Cena each tell Seth to stay behind him tonight. Hunter calls Cena ‘Dudley Do Right’ and then Cena tells Hunter that they know who is going to be killed in the ring.
We are told that ZZ Top are going to be the guest hosts of Raw next week.
We go to commercial.
We are back and it is time for a graphic that 12 Rounds was the Number One DVD last week.
We go to commercial before our main event, but not before everyone comes to the ring.
Match Number Seven: Legacy versus Triple H, John Cena, and Seth Green
We are back and the match is joined in progress and Hunter with a delayed vertical suplex to Cody. Hunter with a knee drop to Rhodes’ head for a near fall. Hunter with a punch to Rhodes and then Hunter is about to tag in Green but then he chooses to bring in Cena. Cena with an Irish whip and bulldog for a near fall. Cena thinks about tagging in Seth Green and it is time for him to get into the match. Cena holds Rhodes and Green with a punch to Rhodes. Rhodes gets to his feet and Seth realizes where he is and he leaves the ring. Rhodes chases after Green and Hunter punches Rhodes on the floor. Green gets a near fall and then he tags in Cena. Rhodes with a kick to Cena but Cena with a back body drop. DiBiase distracts the referee and Orton slithers in and hits a back breaker. DiBiase sends Cena into the apron while the referee is woefully out of position.
Orton tags in and he kicks Cena and sets for the IEDDT and hits it but Orton can only get a two count. Orton kicks Cena and then the referee pulls him away and that allows Rhodes and DiBiase to attack Cena. DiBiase and Rhodes double team Cena. Rhodes with a full nelson and he tries to get to Hunter but Rhodes turns Cena into the center of the ring. Cena gets out of the hold and then we get a double clothesline an both men are down. Hunter and Orton tag in and Hunter punches Orton and hits the Harley Race high knee. Hunter with a facebuster and then he punches DiBiase and Rhodes off the apron. Hunter with a vintage Arn Anderson spinebuster and then he poses. All five wrestlers are in the ring but Cena and Hunter take care of Rhodes and DiBiase. Orton with an RKO and Seth Green makes the save. Orton has that IED look in his eyes and then Orton grabs his boss for the evening. Orton with a kick to Green’s midsection and then he waits for the field goal kick but Cena with a spear for the save. Legacy attack Cena and Rhodes brings a chair into the ring but Hunter raises things with a sledge hammer and the referee calls for the bell.
No Contest
After the match, Hunter and Cena stare each other down. Seth, Hunter, and Cena stand together in the ring while Legacy are on the ramp. Hunter gets Green on his shoulder and we go to credits.
Report by Richard Trionfo and PWinsider.com
